No Ordinary Love Story

What does this photo say to you? To me, it speaks a thousand words of emotion. Not what you imagine your wedding photo to look like. My parents union is one fit for the big screen, but in a unique way.

My father’s first wife left him with their six children. As you’ve read in previous posts, my father was not formally educated but rather a very hard worker. He was raised without his own mother and knew wholeheartedly that a mother’s love is priceless to a child. A desperate situation called for a desperate measure. My father does not recount how long, most likely about a year, he struggled to raise his children after their mother left. He worked two jobs and a house full of kids ranging from preteen’s to toddlers. My father received help from an elderly couple but nothing was sustainable. Seeing how much my dad was struggling, his compadre (friend), advised my dad to find a woman with whom he could have help him raise his kids. But not one from the United States, he suggested, you should return to Mexico.

So off they went in a car full of kids to Mexico. My father recounts, it was not to find a wife necessarily, but at a minimum someone to watch over his kids. Can you imagine walking around that little dusty village asking women who were single if they would like to come to the United States to live with a strange man and take care of his six kids? Well, my father and his compadre asked around, and for obvious reasons women said no.

My father’s compadre mentioned my mother’s name. “She is not married but she has a two year old daughter”, he said to my dad. “Well, I have six!”, he replied. My parents both admit my father was not interested in asking her but he knew his time in Mexico was limited. My mom explained to my dad that the only way she would be allowed to leave her parents house was if she married. “I’m divorced”, my father shared, “and if it will help, I can bring a priest over to your parents house to talk about this situation.” My mom agreed and two days later everyone was sitting in the house, listening to the priest talk about my mom marrying my dad and moving to the United States. My mom recalls, her mothers looks could have killed her. That night, with her father’s blessing and her mothers reluctant blessing, she agreed to get married to my dad.

The trip to Mexico was quickly coming to a close, due to time and money. My father always says, you can do anything with money. He paid to have a local priest marry them the next day. See the excitement and love in their eyes in the first photo above. Immediately after, my mom and dad left for Mexico City to go to the American Consulate. There, my dad would apply for a visa so my mom could come to the U.S. With bewilderment, my mom recalls them arriving in Mexico City. The drive took most of the day so they checked into a hotel and my dad took my mom to dinner. “Linda, I had never been in such a fancy place. The restaurant was inside the hotel. There were swans in a little pool and the food! The waiter put a huge plate with half of a chicken in front of me. I have never seen so much food on a plate in my life!”

The next morning, they walked over to the Embassy. The officer explained, “Sir, she is now your wife. The paperwork is different. She will not be able to enter the United States with you.” So, they sat down to complete the initial forms. Always thinking of returning back to Ohio for work, my dad rushed my mom back to her parents home on the promise that when Immigration called my father that my mom’s paper work was approved, he would come back for her.

Can you imagine the thoughts that went through my mom’s mind? Nineteen years minor to my father. She married him when she was just twenty-two.

But here they are, 49 years later. Still married. Both will profess, they did not marry for love but out of necessity. My father needed help with his children. My mom says to this day she does not know where she got the guts to say yes from. All we know is we are forever grateful for their union. My mom entered the United States in March 1972, my sister Sofia was born just a few months later, in May.

In total, my parents raised a blended family of ten children. Each of us having our own unique stories. One thing is for certain, if it had not been for that union so many years ago this family would not exist as it does today. A chapter out of our amazing family story. Happy anniversary to my heroes and the cornerstones of our family.